Balloon Release

For Family Home Evening tonight we each wrote something about Atticus on an orange or blue balloon and went to his grave to release them. We started the sentence, Atticus is....

To Julia, Atticus is kind.

To Audrey, Atticus is sweet.

To Hallie, Atticus is adorale. 

To Claire, Atticus is spunky.

To me, Atticus is tender.

To Zeb, Atticus is silly.

Then we drove to the cemetery and gave him a birthday present that we had picked out in January. The girls were set that they wanted to give it to him and leave it at his grave. 

On a white balloon we wrote what he has taught our family..."eternal families are important."

And then we let the balloons go.

After the we cried for a little while Zeb said, "What do you think Atticus is doing for his birthday?" Claire was the first to respond, "I think he is eating a huge cake and has frosting all over his face." We decided it was heavenly cake with white frosting. On the drive home I was trying to figure out how to cheer them up. I pulled up the Hansen Family Blog on my phone and started reading Cindy's post about all the funny things Atticus has said. We were all rolling. After I read through all the funny things, the girls said, "Read it AGAIN!!!!" So I read through it again and we all laughed again. The girls loved it. I think if I it weren't bed time I would still be reading it over and over.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ATTICUS!!! You are loved, cherished, and remembered.

True Confessions

Truth be told, the times I have thought of posting in the last 10 months have been mostly posts about our sweet friends the Hansen family. I wanted to post about Atticus and his journey and how we have dealt with things but I was worried. Worried people would think I was trying to boast about things we did for him. Worried people would think I was bragging about what we did with him. Worried I would hurt someones feelings. Worried that Cindy would read it and I would make things worse.

As I look back over the last several months I realize that I want to write the things down to help work through thoughts and feelings. Write things down that I don't want to forget. About him or the things my kids say about him. Since I haven't posted in so long maybe I don't have to worry anymore. So here goes....

Today is Atticus' 5th birthday. He is a nephew to Zeb and me and a cousin to our girls. He is our family here in Texas and I need to write about him.

This morning when Claire came out dressed for school she was in Atti's colors but she had a blanket wrapped around her like she always does. I said, "Girls why don't you wear Atti's colors to school today?" Claire said, "Mom, I am." And she took her blanket off. I love that she thought through this and did it on her own. He sisters followed suit and they were decked with blue and orange, Atticus pins, bows in their hair, and of course the bracelets that haven't left our wrists. I remember one time when I was with Cindy and I gasped, "Where is my bracelet?" It came off when I took off a long sleeved shirt that morning and the girls ended up finding it for me. I never take it off.

Last night Claire, Hallie, and Audrey cried themselves to sleep. They had a garbage can full of tissues. They were missing Atticus. He is their little buddy and they miss him. When Audrey came home from school today she said, "Mom, I pretty much cried the whole day today because I miss Atticus." Which she said as she was crying. I love my girls so much. I love that they love Atticus so much. We all do. That little boy had such a way around people. He could have you laughing in minutes. I remember when he was born (well not BORN born) but after he was born how much hair that boy had. Oh my goodness. I have NEVER seen that much hair. And it was beautiful. Like a shiny silky lions mane.

Here are little bits of the letters the girls wrote to Atticus for his birthday. I was going to take a picture of them but forgot.
Julia said, "My favorite memory of you is that I love you."
Audrey said, "My favorite memory of Atticus is when you came to my birthday party and were buzz lightyear. You were so cute and you would shoot your lazer. You are special to me because you are so sweet and kind. I love you." P.S. When I miss you I think of being able to see you again and that helps me feel better.
Hallie's note sounded like a 12 year old wrote it. She said "My favorite memory of Atticus is when I got to see him before he passed away. I know that if we follow Christ that we can live with Atti again.  Sometimes Jesus gives us trials that we don't understand. Like when Atticus got his angel wings. We love your family and I am so glad I got to know Atticus. I am grateful you are in our lives. Atticus is the sweetest boy I have ever known." Love, Hallie P.S. I wrote this myself.
Claire's mature letter was to the very loved Hansen Pack "My favorite memory of Atticus is when we rode in a limo to Macdonalds and when we got there we took a tour. When we were in the kitchen they pulled cookies out of the oven and Atticus shouted, "OOOHHH cookies!" When they gave us toys from the workroom he was so grateful. Atticus has such a spunky and fun personality. I know that if we follow the prophet we can live with him again." Love, Claire
The girls colored a picture of Cindy and Me in blue and orange that had rain clouds. On the back it said, "Friends are what help you though the rain in life. Like you and my mom."

We took Atticus balloons. That boy loved balloons and he needed some for his birthday.

Tonight we have a special family home evening planned for Atticus.

xoxo

Is she really THREE?

Julia,

One of the best days of my life was the day you were born.

The most amazing thing about being a mother is that each time you have a child, the minute you see that perfect baby, you can feel your heart grow. The love I feel for you is indescribable. I am so blessed to have you as a daughter.

All my love,

Mom

Seeing Zeb's face each time one of our daughters was born was priceless and the most beautiful thing. He loves his girls. The time we spent in the hospital, with just Julia, was precious.

This is Julia on her first birthday. I can't believe do much time has gone by. Julia has been such a happy baby and brings so much laughter and joy to anyone around her.

Second birthday and lots of energy. She got into her cupcakes and started eating them after sliding a stool over to where there were...up HIGH! :)

Is she really three now? My favorite thing is to tickle her. She laughs hysterically over and over and it is one sound I will never tire of.

For the first time in months Julia changed out of her PJ's and was excited to wear her party outfit. I love the personality that comes out when she loves what she's wearing. She even wore it to the gym WITH a microphone in hand.

Here is her royal treatment, breakfast in bed!

I love this girl. More than words can say. I love her intense personality and spit fire comments. She keeps us laughing ALL the time. She'll answer the door in her underwear, tell you she wants "spider web booty (instead of pirates booty), say, "what's up dudamous?" and tell you most things with lots of attitude. But what she has in attitude she makes up for in sweetness. She tells you you're her fwavorite, she'll put herself in her room for time out, and she is an amazing sleeper. Julia May you are so sweet and funny and we just adore you!

Love this banner Angie made. She is sooooo talented in photoshop. Love you, sis.

Here are all the friends that helped us celebrate. Thanks, friends!

Enjoying Mickey chicken nuggets and cheese.

They each did an easter egg hunt and had lots of fun finding the eggs! Her friend Baylee had personalized M & M's with her picture on them that her Grandpa had given her. Tasha gave Julia some to eat. After the party as Julia was eating the candy with Baylee's cute little face she said, "Look, Baylee was born on an M & M!" Soooo funny!

She is such a good cheezer!!!

Giving M a kiss goodbye. These two are hilarious!!!!

The party decor:

This cake was made with lots of love by not only me but Zeb too. My hands were pink from the dye on the frosting from cupcakes so I couldn't touch the white fondant. Zeb kneaded it, rolled it and shaped it PERFECTLY around the cake. He did so well he did the top layer too and went to work with hot pink hands. What daddy won't do for his daughters.

I made this topiary for the occasion. I L.O.V.E. throwing parties.
Happy Birthday our sweet Julia. We love you!!!!

Oh the outfits!

This little spit fire loves to get dressed and comes up with some funky things. I have never had a child that didn't just get dressed in what I laid out for them (at least until 4!) but then came Julia. When I tell her to go get dressed she won't even pick out clothes from her drawers. She ALWAYS picks out pajamas. She wear PJ's 75 percent of the time no matter where we go. She picked out her tutu swimming suit and put pajamas over them when we went to eat lunch at the school with the girls. I have learned that this is a battle not worth fighting. This is what she strolled in wearing this morning:

Things I love about Julia:

1. She loves babies. She always says, "Awwww," when she sees them.

2. She lets me put pig tails in her hair now.

3. She sings the song to the TV show, "Good Luck Charlie" and yells "Seen it! Seen It! Seen it!" when it shows pictures of past episodes.

4. She sings the kidz bop songs in the car or at home out of the blue. "Cause you're amazing, just the way you are." Or "Airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars. I could really use a wish right now wish right now...."

5. When the girls aren't getting along she will say, "I'm tired and SICK." "Audwey you listen to me! I mean it!"

6. She loves to let me read her stories.

7. She thinks my ipad is hers.

8. She will tell me she needs to do her homework.

9. When I call her Audrey (which I do frequently) she says, "I'm not Audwey mom. Don't call me Audwey." It's hilarious. She catches me every time.

10. I love her laugh and could tickle her all day. Her spot is her collarbone. Gets her every time.

Favorite Moment

This was a favorite afternoon. Claire and Hallie were invited to an American Girl Tea Party for a friends birthday and Audrey wanted to have one with me.

So I put some glitter and gloss on Audrey, she picked a dress to wear and we just played and watched a movie together. We even brought out the tea set. It was so fun to spend time with her. These are the pictures we took of ourselves! ;)

I love this girl. Love that she always yells my name and runs to me when I come home. Love that she is so sweet with babies and kids younger than her. Love that she has the greatest laugh and doesn't hold back. Love that she is super girly girl but also loves dirt and playing with girls AND boys. Love that she is enjoying school and learning. Just love her. Period. The end.

Public School Here She Comes...

I had to post this picture of Audrey with one of the crafts she made in joy school. Isn't it great? Love it.

Audrey has finished preschool at home and is starting Pre-K at the school in a few short weeks.

I can't believe how much she has grown this past year. She is so much bigger and more mature. She will be 5 in less than 3 months. Wow.

I love you, Audrey. You are one fantastic, fun, friendly, and sweet 4 year old.

Our Star Runner!

Claire participated in a run club this past school year. She loved it and trained for her first 5K. She was so excited.

This is one of her closest friends from school, Leila.

Julia was a great cheerleader, as always.

Claire was such a champ. She was so focused and driven and ran it in 35:44. She finished first in her age group for females. So awesome!

It was so neat to get to run the race with her. We are so proud of you, Claire. YOU ROCK!!!