Balloon Release

For Family Home Evening tonight we each wrote something about Atticus on an orange or blue balloon and went to his grave to release them. We started the sentence, Atticus is....

To Julia, Atticus is kind.

To Audrey, Atticus is sweet.

To Hallie, Atticus is adorale. 

To Claire, Atticus is spunky.

To me, Atticus is tender.

To Zeb, Atticus is silly.

Then we drove to the cemetery and gave him a birthday present that we had picked out in January. The girls were set that they wanted to give it to him and leave it at his grave. 

On a white balloon we wrote what he has taught our family..."eternal families are important."

And then we let the balloons go.

After the we cried for a little while Zeb said, "What do you think Atticus is doing for his birthday?" Claire was the first to respond, "I think he is eating a huge cake and has frosting all over his face." We decided it was heavenly cake with white frosting. On the drive home I was trying to figure out how to cheer them up. I pulled up the Hansen Family Blog on my phone and started reading Cindy's post about all the funny things Atticus has said. We were all rolling. After I read through all the funny things, the girls said, "Read it AGAIN!!!!" So I read through it again and we all laughed again. The girls loved it. I think if I it weren't bed time I would still be reading it over and over.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ATTICUS!!! You are loved, cherished, and remembered.

True Confessions

Truth be told, the times I have thought of posting in the last 10 months have been mostly posts about our sweet friends the Hansen family. I wanted to post about Atticus and his journey and how we have dealt with things but I was worried. Worried people would think I was trying to boast about things we did for him. Worried people would think I was bragging about what we did with him. Worried I would hurt someones feelings. Worried that Cindy would read it and I would make things worse.

As I look back over the last several months I realize that I want to write the things down to help work through thoughts and feelings. Write things down that I don't want to forget. About him or the things my kids say about him. Since I haven't posted in so long maybe I don't have to worry anymore. So here goes....

Today is Atticus' 5th birthday. He is a nephew to Zeb and me and a cousin to our girls. He is our family here in Texas and I need to write about him.

This morning when Claire came out dressed for school she was in Atti's colors but she had a blanket wrapped around her like she always does. I said, "Girls why don't you wear Atti's colors to school today?" Claire said, "Mom, I am." And she took her blanket off. I love that she thought through this and did it on her own. He sisters followed suit and they were decked with blue and orange, Atticus pins, bows in their hair, and of course the bracelets that haven't left our wrists. I remember one time when I was with Cindy and I gasped, "Where is my bracelet?" It came off when I took off a long sleeved shirt that morning and the girls ended up finding it for me. I never take it off.

Last night Claire, Hallie, and Audrey cried themselves to sleep. They had a garbage can full of tissues. They were missing Atticus. He is their little buddy and they miss him. When Audrey came home from school today she said, "Mom, I pretty much cried the whole day today because I miss Atticus." Which she said as she was crying. I love my girls so much. I love that they love Atticus so much. We all do. That little boy had such a way around people. He could have you laughing in minutes. I remember when he was born (well not BORN born) but after he was born how much hair that boy had. Oh my goodness. I have NEVER seen that much hair. And it was beautiful. Like a shiny silky lions mane.

Here are little bits of the letters the girls wrote to Atticus for his birthday. I was going to take a picture of them but forgot.
Julia said, "My favorite memory of you is that I love you."
Audrey said, "My favorite memory of Atticus is when you came to my birthday party and were buzz lightyear. You were so cute and you would shoot your lazer. You are special to me because you are so sweet and kind. I love you." P.S. When I miss you I think of being able to see you again and that helps me feel better.
Hallie's note sounded like a 12 year old wrote it. She said "My favorite memory of Atticus is when I got to see him before he passed away. I know that if we follow Christ that we can live with Atti again.  Sometimes Jesus gives us trials that we don't understand. Like when Atticus got his angel wings. We love your family and I am so glad I got to know Atticus. I am grateful you are in our lives. Atticus is the sweetest boy I have ever known." Love, Hallie P.S. I wrote this myself.
Claire's mature letter was to the very loved Hansen Pack "My favorite memory of Atticus is when we rode in a limo to Macdonalds and when we got there we took a tour. When we were in the kitchen they pulled cookies out of the oven and Atticus shouted, "OOOHHH cookies!" When they gave us toys from the workroom he was so grateful. Atticus has such a spunky and fun personality. I know that if we follow the prophet we can live with him again." Love, Claire
The girls colored a picture of Cindy and Me in blue and orange that had rain clouds. On the back it said, "Friends are what help you though the rain in life. Like you and my mom."

We took Atticus balloons. That boy loved balloons and he needed some for his birthday.

Tonight we have a special family home evening planned for Atticus.

xoxo