Blessing in Disguise?

I had picked Audrey up by her arm to move her a few inches so she wouldn't run out into the drive. I felt a little pop when she pulled down. While we were at the store she wouldn't use her arm at all I knew something was wrong. I felt horrible and cried on the way to the ER thinking I had dislocated her shoulder or something. I cried checking into the ER and felt so bad. We were in the ER for almost 3 hours...there were honestly 40 people in the waiting area!

They said it was "nurses elbow" which is very common in small kids. One of the 2 bones in the elbow gets popped out and the nurse or Doctor just turns their elbow and it pops back. She was using her arm within a minute and acted as if nothing happened. Talk about a quick recovery! But make a mental note not to pick your kids up by one arm so you don't have to go through the guilt that I did! :) I sure learned my lesson.

So anyway the ER doctor wanted to x-ray it just to make sure everything was okay. When he got the x-ray back he said she had a buckle fracture on her forearm. What? How could I have buckle fractured her forearm (which happens when you fall on an outstretched arm) by lifting her off the ground? Well, after seeing another Doctor we knew that Audrey had broken her arm within the last few weeks and we just didn't know. How sad is that? The poor little thing was walking around with a broken arm for who knows how long. She just cut her molars so I have attributed her fussiness to that. I know now why she cries when I get her dressed; because I have to press on her arm and twist it to get it in the sleeve. :( The Doctor put a sling on and referred her to an orthopedic specialist.


The orthopedic specialist said 30-40% of these fractures are never discovered and that I shouldn't feel bad. Since they don't hurt as bad as other fractures most people don't know they have them. Luckily we were able to catch her fracture because of the nurses elbow. Who knows how long this fracture would have taken to heal and how long she would have been miserable. So I guess the visit to the ER was a blessing in disguise.

When they asked us what color cast we wanted this morning for Audrey my answer was "HOT PINK!!!" After 2-3 people calling her a little boy in the waiting room (which I get frequently), despite her pink shirt and bow on it, I wanted something that screamed GIRL!! She was so good when they were casting her arm and was the star every time we were in a Doctor's office. She would say "hi" "bye" and "thank you" for everyone and they all thought she was adorable. She has such a fun personality. She will have it on for 2 weeks and then they will re x-ray it. Hopefully she will be done after that.




Isn't she adorable? She has been the best little patient.

Consumer Nirvana Continued

Lets begin this story with a quick synopsis of the surrounding facts. Leah and I recently switched our cellular service from T-mobile to AT&T – we were tired of paying for a service we were not receiving (this could be an entire entry). Because we are married and constitute a family, we signed up for a family plan. Apparently the man at the store thought that Leah was a polyandrist (think reverse polygamy) and thus signed up her second husband for a separate line of service. Perhaps this husband was also known to our credit card company and is our good friend Ceb. Perhaps I need to have a talk with Leah. At any rate, a quick math equation will demonstrate that 2 family lines plus 1 separate line equals three lines. If I’m not mistaken, I do not talk out of both sides of my face so often that I need a second line just for me. So, once we discovered the extra line, I called ATT and asked them to cancel the line. Like any diligent customer service agent (CSA), the CSA spewed gallons and gallons of apologies all over me, the problem was corrected, and we moved on.

Unfortunately, the change to the account prevented us from accessing our data usage online. Leah was in Utah at this time and she and I were texting each other, as well as several other friends and family. Concerned that we were going over our limit, I tried to check our data usage online, but it was not available. I also tried the 646 route on the phone, again, no luck. I called ATT only to learn that I had gone over by 39 and Leah had gone over by 178 messages. This leads us to our second math equation. 217 messages at .10 a pop gives us a total of 21.70 in overage fees. I told the CSA that I monitor my account online, and had the information been available I would not have exceeded my limit. Because the information was blocked, due to no fault of my own, I didn’t think I should have to pay the overages. She agreed, but told me she could not fix my bill at that point, because the bill was not yet available. Lame. However, she did agree to “place a commitment on my account to call me back.” Let’s pause for a moment here. What exactly does it mean to place a “commitment” on my account? To the customer service agent it means that they are scheduling a follow-up call so that they know to call the customer back. So why don’t they just say that! Agent: "I’m going to schedule a follow-up call to settle this matter.” Customer Response: "Thank you! That is quiet generous of you." Undoubtedly this terminology came from some higher up who thought that every customer would feel warm and cozy if the CSA used the word “commitment” when addressing a problem. Unfortunately, every time a CSA uses the word in a sentence it sounds completely ridiculous and misplaced. Sorry for that little side show; let’s continue.

At this point I decided that I needed to stop the texting madness. I’m sure this is a feeling that we will all have as our children grow to become teenage-freak-texting machines. So I asked the “committed” CSA if there was a way to block all incoming and outgoing texts. She informed me that there was a way and asked me if I wouldn’t mind waiting while she placed the block on the lines. The 80’s butt-rock ballads then began to rock my world as I waited on hold for this delicate procedure to be performed. Once successful, the CSA returned to the line and thanked me for how patiently I had waited for her. I was quite flattered – I am quite a patient waiter. She then informed me that in order to remove the block I would have to call back when the new billing cycle began and request the block to be removed.

At that point the call was over. However, despite the fact that the call had been recorded, the CSA was apparently instructed that she was to repeat every facet of our conversation just to make sure that she had “adequately addressed all of my concerns.” Again, undoubtedly, this was a suggestion from a higher up. Now I wouldn’t take issue with this procedure if it actually worked, but as we will see, despite this dutiful, and seemingly comprehensive repetition, somewhere along our journey down the yellow brick customer service road we were separated for a time and apparently she was off chillin’ with OZ.

Desperate for the capacity to text once again, I called on the first day of the billing cycle to have the block removed. My new CSA graciously agreed to remove the block so that I could get back to my addiction. Again, 80’s butt-rock ballads, and after several minutes a statement of sincere gratitude for my extraordinary patience. They really know how to flatter a guy. This is where the journey went south. “Mr. Fish, you do not have text service on your plan.” Now I’m not one that is prone to use profanity, but I was on the verge at this point. Apparently my last CSA, with all her flattery, wooed me into a false sense of affection and then completely took advantage of my vulnerable position by removing all texting service, instead of just blocking the service. WOW! This brings us to our third equation. Each phone had 200 text messages for a total of 400, add to this the 217 we were over and, without text service, you get 617 messages over. At .10 each you have a grand total of 61.70, plus tax. At this point the apologies were flying like cuss words on the Jerry Springer Show. And as you can imagine the sincerity was overwhelming.

Now I’m not going to do the final math problem, because apparently ATT is using some type of complex trigonometric-algebraic-calculus formula to arrive at our monthly billing rate. Suffice it to say that our bill is over 200 dollars.

And that, my friends is the “new AT&T, raising the bar." Apparently the bar had originally been set very low.

Bragging Rights

Zeb will post another story soon, I hope. I know I love the way he tells stories and I can't wait to hear it. But In the meantime here is a post about the girls:

The girls were performing for Cindy and her mom tonight and Cindy told me I had to record the "performances." This is a song Claire learned in Kindergarten and Hallie heard her sing it so many times she learned the song as well. I have to admit hearing the song allowed me to brush up on my states. Anyway, after Cindy heard it she said, "I am requesting that you put this on your blog." She then informed me I had bragging rights to it! :)
(Oh and make sure and push stop on the music player cause it drives me nuts when I try and listen to a video when the music is still playing.)

I was floored when Claire learned this song and even more floored when Hallie learned it from her. What 3 year old sings all the states?
Here are a few things I love about the videos:
I love Hallie saying "U-haw." When they get to Texas in the song they say Yeehaw because obviously there is Texas pride in the schools (Claire is very into this part as you noticed). Since Utah is after Texas Hallie gets a little mixed up and says, "Texas, U-haw, Utah."
What kills me is Claire in her video. I had told Claire to smile cause at the end of Hallie's video she pushed her lower lip out and looked all pouty. Well, Claire decided to take my request up a notch and added lots of blinks, head bobbing from side to side, and arm movements. The framed face at one point is great, isn't it?. She is so funny. I love how when she claps YOU have to blink cause she is clapping so hard.
Oh man my girls are funny. They don't have much personality, do they?
Alright, this post was for Cindy but it was also fun for me to brag for a sec! :)
I think I'm done for now!

Consumer Nirvana Where Are You?

Leah told me that I needed to post to our blog because she really wasn't feeling up to it. Then she posted the picture of Claire, but I'm going to make a post anyway. In fact part of my post will even be news to Leah.

So many of you know that my journey to "consumer nirvana" has been a long and bumpy road. From pubes in my rice to gum in my fries, it would seem that I've had a more difficult struggle to reach my consumertopia than most. This past month has been no different. A while back Leah decided to apply for a new credit card. She was to receive two great features on the card - sky miles and 0% interest. What's not to like. We recently decided that it was ridiculous that she had the only card on the account and that I would have to pretend to be Leah anytime I used the card when she wasn't there - I'm sure you can imagine I don't look good in Leah's skirts! So she called and ordered a card for me. The new card came in the mail a few days later. However, when we opened the envelope, the new card had Leah's name on it. So, Leah called back and asked them to send a new card with my name on it. The customer service agent apologized profusely and assured us that he would correct the problem. Sure enough, a new card came with a new name. The problem was that the name on the card was not my name. The good news is that if anyone knows a "Ceb" Fish, I have his card. Now I've been repeating my name for some 25 years, so I decided to make the call to correct the problem. However, the kind, foreign customer service agent informed me that despite the fact that the name on my card was spelled incorrectly, only the primary account holder was authorized to make changes to my card. I explained that Leah was my wife and that it was my card all to no avail. I told him that Leah would call, but that I wanted him to make an "account notation" that the spelling was incorrect and I then spent a fantastic five minutes explaining to this non-native speaker the wonders of the English alphabet.

Let's take a brief pause here for a moment to clarify something. I am not a racist, nor do I discriminate on the basis of ethnicity. If I were an employer I would most definitely be equal opportunity. However, I loathe the business concept of saving money on customer service by outsourcing call centers to countries whose native language is not English. And now the story continues...

Later that night Leah made a second phone call, and had the privilege of experiencing the same conversation I had just had, despite the existence of the "account notation." After another string of insincere apologies, and some further "account notations," Leah was assured that the problem would be corrected. Well, the card came in the mail yesterday, and good news, if you know "Ceb" Fish, I now have two cards for him!

I'm just now realizing that this post was really long. Initially I had planned to relate two stories, but time and space restraints are compelling me to reevaluate. Here's what I'm going to do, if I see a sufficient number of comments to this post I'll go ahead and tell my second story. However, this sufficiency test is a subjective test, and we all know how shady those subjective tests can be (that's for you Steph). If the comments are sparse, I'll conclude that no one wants to read my consumer rantings and turn the stage back over to Leah and pretty pictures of our children.

Sweet Valentine

Claire brought this picture home from school today. I couldn't help but grin when I saw the picture. Right down to the earrings and crown, she is all dressed up. She said they even put lip gloss on her. Is she the cutest Valentine or what?
She adds so much to our family and I am so grateful she is my daughter. When we were on the airplane she was helping Hallie get situated. She was trying to help her put her seatbelt on. She sweetly says, "Sweetie, we need to put your seatbelt on." Another passenger that was helping us said, "Did she just call her sweetie? That is so cute." It was so precious. Claire is the second mom in the family. Every so often I have to remind Claire that I am the mother, not her! I love her dearly and wouldn't change her personality for a thing!
I love you, Claire! You make such a sweet valentine.

Changaroo!

So one night while we were in Utah I put the girls to bed like so. They were both in matching jammies on top of the queen guest bed. Notice the pillows and bedding.


When I went to bed this was how I found Claire and Hallie:
Claire was on the bed by herself, in a completely different outfit. Topped off with her hoodie over her head. She had laid out all new bedding and pillows and notice how nicely she placed her folded jammies and slippers.


Hallie on the other hand, most likely fed up with Claire, moved onto the floor and went to bed.


I couldn't help but laugh when I saw what Claire and the bed looked like. It was so funny to see. I had to grab my camera.

What a funny girl!

A Boy Among Girls

My nephew Peyton is the lone boy among several girls. Of the last 11 Grandchildren 9 have been girls. Carol and I have 6 of the 9 girls FYI! :) The girls have had so much fun playing with Peyton. All the grandkids have moved away and Peyton is the only Grandchild that lives close to Zeb's parents now, so he has been in heaven to have playmates again. Anyway, I love these pictures of him and just had to post them. Isn't he a little heart throb?

Burger please!

This was an e-mail Zeb sent me that I just had to post!

"So I thought this picture would be a fun way to introduce you to my
night. After talking to you about going out to eat I started
weighing my possibilities. I was trying to think of a place that
I've been wanting to go, that I know you don't like. I figured I'd
get it out of my system while you were away so that I wouldn't have
to drag you along with me. After failing to conjure up such a
restaurant, I decided I'd just go for a burger. So I headed for
Sonic. I knew I didn't want fries, and they have tots, so it was a
nice solution. I ordered a number one with cheese. Since Sonic asks
you whether you want mustard, mayonnaise, OR ketchup
(the "or" drives me nuts - I want all three), I told them that I wanted all three.
The meal was promptly made and delivered. I was off. When I got
home, I opened the bag and low-and-behold.... I know what you're
thinking, "no ketchup," "no mayonnaise," "no mustard," or "no
mayonnaise, mustard, or ketchup." And your right, but they neglected
something else as well, the hamburger and cheese. That's right. I
received a bun with lettuce, pickles, and a tomato. Fantastic! So I
get in the car and head back to Sonic. As one of the uniformed
teenagers is walking back into the building I ask for her help. I
explain what happened and restate my order. "I want a number one
with mayonnaise, mustard, ketchup, and cheese." She apologizes for
the mistake and quickly heads inside. She returns shortly with the
second bag and again apologizes. I smile politely and say, "No
problem." As I'm backing from my stall I think to myself, "Surely
they wouldn't get my order wrong a second time." As much as I wanted
to place my confidence in the young and vibrant minds of tomorrow, I
couldn't do it. Instead, I pulled to the side of the parking lot and
checked the order. My lack of confidence was reinforced as I opened
the wrapper to find a burger naked of any traces of vegetables. No
lettuce. No tomato. No pickles. That's right, a bun, burger,
cheese, mayonnaise, mustard, and ketchup. So, I circled back around
and pulled into the stall once more. When another kind young
teenager approached I explained to him what I have just told you
(minus the lack of confidence part), I then made my order very
specific, "Bun, hamburger, cheese, lettuce, tomato, pickles,
mayonnaise, mustard, and ketchup. Or if you prefer, a number one
with everything on it but onions." The teenager apologized and raced
inside for the third attempt. As you may have guessed, three bags,
three attempts, third times a charm. All for one burger."

Cowgirl Bride

Okay so while we were in Price spending time with my sister, Hallie and the kids walked out of the bedroom dressed like this. I thought it was the cutest thing ever to see Hallie in a princess wedding dress with a cowboy hat and gun. It was such a cute outfit I couldn't pass up taking pictures. Angie asked them to look "serious" for the picture and this was what we got! You think Hallie looks like a mean cowgirl? Hardly. Claire and Saige sure look great though! :) The kids had so much fun with their cousins. I am so glad we got to see them in between snow storms. Tuesday night Justin agreed to watch all the kids so Ang and I could go out to dinner and spend some time together. How sweet is her husband to watch 5 kids? (Audrey was asleep) We hardly said a word during dinner. We just enjoyed the peace and quiet and the opportunity to eat a meal with no interruptions. I love my sister! Thanks for a fun time, Ang! And thanks Justin for watching the kids! :)