Two weeks ago I went to the salon to get my hair cut. I'll admit, it was Great Clips, but how hard is it to cut my hair. The standard cut is $12.00, but in all honesty it's worth a little less than that. So this woman starts cutting my hair and half way through the cut asks if I want to keep my side burns. For those of you that know me well, you know that it's genetically impossible for me to grow facial hair (with the exception of a sweet Mexi-stache). So naturally I want to preserve any sign of what might be considered facial hair, which includes side burns. So I told the lady to leave the burns. After considerable instructing on my part the haircut was coming to an end and sure enough the clippers take a nose dive for the side burns and "zip", the right side is gone. My first question is who would intentionally make their hair look like that. It is so WT. Of course I can't have the right side burn gone and leave the left, so I just keep my mouth shut. So as I'm sitting there wondering if I had been misunderstood when I said, "I'd like you to leave my side burns," the clippers take a bizarre arching angle towards my face. With the left hand the stylist flips her comb into my right eyebrow and with the right hand continues the ominous arc. Sure enough, "zip" she trims my eyebrow. I know that this is a family site, but who in the H#*! trims a man's eyebrows without even asking? I didn't know what to do. And of course at this point she has to do the other side or it will look stupid. Honestly, what do you say to that? Seriously, these stylists have complete power over us once we're in the chair. They could hold us hostage in those chairs if they wanted to.
Stylist: "Hold still and give me all your money or I'll knick the crap out of the side of your head." So you give them all your money and then they take your sideburns and eyebrows, but your just happy to get out of there with your life and a little hair left. And then you have to walk to register with that person where they guilt you into giving them a tip.
What do you do? You know that these places are sweat shops where the owner rents a cutting station out to the stylist. In order to pay the rent the stylist has to hold over 200 people hostage each day. Not to mention the fact that while your being held hostage the stylist is bearing her soul to you. "I have twenty children and I'm a single mom. My husband died of a horrible disease that he contracted while helping starving children in Ethiopia."
So there you are with the pen poised to fill out the tip amount and everyone in the salon is waiting for the reaction of the stylist. If the tip is too low the stylist will refuse to make eye contact, which is a signal to all the other stylists to give you the evil eye as you walk from the store. On the other hand, if you leave a good tip, the stylist gives you a coy smile and thanks you for falling prey to her sinister plan. After which you feel like a total yuppy and you have to walk from the building with your tail between your legs.
So my question is, how much do you tip someone that has held you hostage? Should there really even be any tip line on these receipts?
For those of you who don't think my concerns are valid, here is a pitiful picture of me trying to be optimistic after my last haircut.
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this blog are purely that of the author. The author does not truly believe that all stylists are terrorists so please do not take offense. By reading this blog you consent to refrain from being offended by the comments made in this post, regardless of whether you, or someone you know is a stylist. Photos may be slightly altered for effect.
17 comments:
Holy cow. Zeb tells such good stories. I remember when he came home from Great Clips. I still can't believe the stylist asked him about the burns and then totally blew off his answer. And the eyebrows. What was that? Now they were not shaved off, just trimmed, but the picture makes the story better.
I love my husband.
k this is absolutely hillarious. I died laughing at this picture. Seriously, what was she thinking. I can't wait to show Rick this pick when he gets home!
Kim
Hope you guys are all well!
oh my! i say you don't tip. if a stylist is unwilling to listen to what you want, then they shouldn't be given a tip. that simple...i sure hope you didn't tip big, in any case!!! and keep in mind, i was a waitress...for four years, people. so don't get all righteous on me for this comment...i get it. you live on the tips. still, if i gave crappy service, well, so be it. i didn't deserve the tip.
Um, first of all, I don't think that that I have cried while laughing in quite a long time. Josh had to take over and read it to me.
Secondly, I am with Michelle, you do NOT tip when what you say is completely disregarded. Why did she even bother asking what you wanted. Let that be a lesson to you. Not all stylist are created equal.
Oh, and you have some nice photoshop skills. As always, thanks for the laugh at your expense.
-carol
Okay, I am totally tired of all the tipping. Coldstone come on. Tipping is for people who are working below minimum wage. Secondly, not just with asking, but what guy shaves their eyebrows. Who cares that she didn't ask, even if your are metro and "shape" the brow, your not going to have it done at great clips in public!!! Honestly.
-Josh
I was seriously laughing so hard reading this I had to stop to gain my composure in order to finish. You crack me up. Robby read it earlier and thought it was so funny that he told me I had to come read it right when we walked in the door. Seriously dude, when law gets too boring....you could be a writer.
As far as the tipping goes...I say tip (so long as you are happy with the job). Hair is NOT the same as a restaurant! I don't want average service. I demand perfection. Of course, I am totally blowing smoke because my stylist that I had for ten years grabbed the wrong color once and totally botched my dye job. However, I would see her EVERY time I had to get my hair done, so I smiled (fighting back tears) and handed over a $10-$15 tip. Now my dilemma is how much do you tip family? Abbie rocks my hair. I love it. But Robby figures she is family and you don't really have to tip. However, I feel guilt ridden every time I don't. So, this last time around, I decided to tip and felt WAY better. The question is....am I being stupid or are you with me here?
Zeb - Daniel says he loves your police officer crew sideburns!
~Mckeehans
Ceb, you are a great story teller! For Leah's sake, I'm glad the photo was just altered!!! ;)
Zeb-
That is the best hair cut story!! I was laughing so hard I couldn't read. I am wiping tears now. The picture is hillarious. Love it. I would like to have seen your face when you looked in the mirror...
I would say NO tip. Not one dime.
Justin wanted me to thank you for the good laugh at your expense. You need to post a picutre of the original damage. I look forward to hearing form you again, soon!!
P.S. My friend went to beauty school with a girl who mistunderstood the request to "Wax the eyebrows..." Instead of waxing the part with the unwanted hair, she waxed off all of them. The old lady left with pencil marks in the proper place. Who knows if they grew back at her age!! Yours could've been worse, except... you didn't ask for her to touch your eyebrows!! Good laugh.
I read this last night but had Bryan read it after me so I thought I had left a comment already.
HILARIOUS! And I would like to see the unaltered photo too. I say unpleased with the job, NO TIP. But I have been in your situation before (not the sideburn/eyebrow trimming) my hair was MUCH shorter than I wanted- I asked for it to touch my shoulders and it was at my ears! and I tipped because I felt pressure to.
Great story Zeb! I would have to say no tip, but I would probably end up leaving a small tip just because I can't handle the pressure.
You could possibly be the funniest blogger that I know, I now understand why Ric does his own hair at home!!! Ric wants to point out that if he trimmed his sideburns, they'd be back the next day!!
So HOT!
Ned wants to know if you'll be his boyfriend.
Zeb, have you ever looked at the picture at the top of my blog. HArrison looks strangely similar to your haircut photo. That's disturbing.
Excuse me but us stylists need a little more credit here! Plus we definitely know way more than you do about YOUR hair, so back off!
I am totally joking!!! That is hilarious. Nothing is more frustrating than going with something in mind and leaving with the total opposite! Especially if she asked and just decided not to listen! Definitely NO tip for her. Honestly I never knew that people tip their stylist, I never did, until I was in beauty school. I thought it was so weird to tip someone doing your hair. Of course now I think it's the greatest thing ever!!!
Chad only lets gay men cut his hair. At least they don't have any pathetic children at home.
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